Bring Thy Glory, Lord Jesus! We Await Thee!

So, today is Ash Wednesday. For those of you who are absolutely clueless as to what that means, it means that today is the first day of Lent, which means that after today, there are 39 days left till Easter. For those of you who are absolutely clueless to what Lent is, it is a period of abstinence, reflection, and drawing closer to G - d (kind of like Ramadan, but we don't break our abstinence at the end of the day. There are actually many differences and similarities, but I really don't know enough about Islam to go into that discussion).

For many people, Lent is just something that is done every single year before Easter and they give up something because they have to because the church says so, not really drawing closer to G - d or really thinking about what G - d did and why Easter even exists. They do Lent because it is Tradition. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with tradition, but there is something wrong when tradition is what it's all about and people put tradition over G - d. I have a problem with that. I know many people who are Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, a lot of the people in my family are Catholic and there a few people in my family who are Russian Orthodox and at Lent it's a bit obvious (well, I think it's obvious) who is giving up something because they have to and who is giving up something because they want to draw closer to G - d. For some people, it's like a show, who can complain the loudest, who is the "most holy," while others don't really talk about it because they feel it's something that's between them and G - d or they don't talk about it all because "it's none of you business, thank you very much ((that's the edited version of what a Catholic classmate said to me in a college English class))."

Now, I'm officially not Catholic, but I do have Catholic tendencies. I do follow the tradition of Lent not because it is a tradition that my family has done generation after generation, not because my family has done for centuries (literally, centuries), but because it brings a different dynamic to my Christian faith, there is a beauty to giving something up and learning to live without something and "suffering" a little bit and seeing G - d through the hunger and desire for the thing and learning to rely on Father more. The things I'm giving up are sugar, beef, and pork, things that I've already been giving up for a month or so, but feel that I should continue to live without. I do not bring this up because I want pity or because I want to make myself look pious and have people think, "Oh, she's setting lofty goals." No, that's not why I mention what I'm fasting, I mention this because I want the accountability. It's easier to fool one person than to fool five or more people.

There are many things that can be said on this topic, but I won't go there. I leave this topic to be contemplated by others who are more willing to tear it apart and put it back together in a tactful manner.
I leave you with this: The prayer that G - d listened to was not the prayer that was prayed by the proud, conceited religious man, who prayed so that people would look at him and say, "Oh, he is so holy and loves G - d." No, G - d listened to the prayer that was the most sincere, and not only was it the most sincere, but it was prayed by the least respectable person.

Paz

The Whereabouts of a Certain Alley off of Memory Lane

Today has been a day for me to relax and stroll down memory lane, which is nice because I haven't had much opportunity to thoroughly go through the archives of my mind in awhile. There was one alley off of memory lane that I was reminded of this past Thursday evening. Some people may remember this and some people may not know this, but I spent six weeks in Thailand during the summer of 2006 and four of those weeks I spent volunteering and helping at a rehab center for former prostitutes in Bangkok, called The Well. Well, this past Thursday, one of the ladies that I met at the rehab center who was also volunteering, but through a different organization, Celeste, is in the U.S. and visited the college group that I'm currently apart of and spoke about prostitution in Thailand.

After the meeting, she and some of others that went to Thailand and I spoke for awhile and set up a time to meet for dinner the next day. So, Friday we went to this really good restaurant called Cervantes and met up with another lady that I had met at
rehab center who had volunteered there the same time I did, Tara, and we all talked, ate good food, remembered, laughed and fell in love with Thailand all over again. Tara and I were talking and she asked me if I would ever go back to Thailand and I though about it for a moment and realized that there have been moments over the past couple of years where the thought of going back had come into my mind without my bidding, and I told her about this and told that I wasn't sure when I would go back if it truly was the will of G - d for me to go back.

Many different conversations were had Friday night, memories of people, memories of excursions, of gross things that had happened to us. It was fun to see old friends and relate with each other.

Now today, today I've been thinking about all of these things and have re-discovered my pictures of Thailand and have re-told the stories behind each picture to myself and remember all the joy and happiness that I experienced with new found friends and remember all of the pain and despair in the eyes of the women and some of the men that I met who were in, possibly still are, prostitution and the desire to help them is brought back.

Curbsided Prophecies and Whatever Comes With Them

"I'm just a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come."

- Jason Mraz

"Could you be loved? And be Love?"

- Bob Marley

"Don't worry about a thing 'cause every little thing 'gon be alright."
- Bob Marely

Sometimes I feel like a prophet standing on the curb, ready to speak the words of God and take the world by storm... then I realize I'm not so prophetic and I'm sometimes just another person standing on the curb. (Now, I'm not saying that I'm unimportant and I'm not doing the whole "Oh! Woe is me!!!" I'll do that silently. At a different time.) When I come upon the realizations that I'm not the curbside prophet speaking out to people, it's at these times that other realizations come upon me that I'm the curbside prophet with the chalk in hand drawing things on the ground, steps and walls. It seems like the times that I'm able to speak in any kind of way that is influential, helpful, or "prophetic"/spiritual are when I'm doing art or music. God always seems to create a connection in the art that He inspires in me and the point He wants to make to me and/or to other people.

There was this one art class that I enjoyed, absolutely loved it. The class was 2-D Design. Totally awesome. Now, one of the assignments in the class was to do a "series" of paintings, two abstract and two "still life." We were given a list of options that we could do for the abstracts and a list of options to choose from for the still life paintings. One of the options for the still life was the topic of "war." When I saw this, I thought to myself, "I'm going to try this, though I have no idea how to do a still life on war." Well, the painting ended up being slightly abstract, but my instructor accepted it as it was and I got a really good grade on that particular painting. Now, the reason why I mention this painting on war is because it seems like, a lot of times, hatred is one of the roots of war. I may be wrong, I have not really studied anthropology or history or anything of the like, but I am human, when I don't really like someone, I don't always treat them right, even though I should. There is absolutely, positively no love in the concept of war. It's extremely easy to not like someone, it's extremely easy to hate someone and be mean to someone, but when it comes to love, love is so, extremely hard. It's hard loving the people that a person truly loves and cares about, let alone loving the people they don't like. And being lovable, that's pretty hard as well. What else can I say? It's hard. And it hurts.

Now, it's all going to be okay. I think that we as people can stress a little too much about things... especially if a person is a perfectionist, because there is that drive to do things right and to keep it that way. Things are bound to go wrong, things are bound to break, I know at some point I'm going to say something totally stupid and off the wall right in front of an extremely handsome man that I am extremely attracted to and after I make the stupid comment, I know I'm going to turn ten different shades of red and then run to the bathroom and cry. Life happens and because life happens, we just have to let it roll off our backs like water rolls off of a duck's back and keep walking forward and not stress the little things or the big things.

Peace

Beautiful Music Only Happens When Community Happens

There are three things that I absolutely love. Aside from my love for God, my family, and friends, there are three things that I talk about. A lot. Those three things? Soccer, music, and art. People who know me always fall prey to my ranting about these three things and I'm quite surprised no one has told me to keep my trap shut about them yet. Now, I have played soccer and done track and field, I have had some formal training in music and art, so I have experienced a little bit of the community that surrounds these walks of life. Community is huge, it is beautiful when it is done right, and it is absolutely necessary.

I love the soccer community, I really do. I've only been to two international "friendly" games (basically, scrimmages for international teams), but I've watched European club games and important international games on the television and to hear the chanting and the songs being sung (and I can imagine the insults and cursings being flung at the opposing team) and people hugging each other and waving banners and screaming until their voices go hoarse when their teams score, I see something beautiful, I see community.
In the summer of 2008, one of the biggest tournaments in European soccer happened:

The UEFA - EURO 2008



(Now, I know all of you American football watching men are all yawning at the thought of soccer, but this stuff is amazing!! 3 billion + followers can't be wrong.)

The Sunday of the Final, my twin brother and I went a local Italian restaurant, Saggio's, which is the place to go for all major televised sporting events like this. We were there about an hour before the game started just so we could get a seat, otherwise we'd be standing the entire 90+ minute game. And the community we experienced with other soccer lovers of all ethnic and linguistic backgrounds! Basically, it was amazing.

The video I posted, I feel, speaks clearly how community should be: cooperative, willing, sometimes free-wheeling. There are some people that are extremely easy to work with, to talk with, to "be in community" with, whatever that means. People that are approachable no matter what and that are able to approach you no matter what (I'm not sure if I'm one of those people). There are also people that are extremely hard to work with, hard to talk to, are un-approachable, and repell people like a skunk does he walks through a campground.

As Eric Cantona says in the video, "You can only make beautiful music if you know how to play in an orquestra."

To create a good, functioning community, people need to know how to work together, support each other, use their talents and abilities not only for themselves, but for everyone around them.