These are the days.

These are the days.  These are very much the days of wonder, the days of wonder, excitement, and joy.

I enjoy the season of autumn because the weather becomes cooler, though I must admit that the season of winter brings a sense of wonder, excitement, and joy that are unparalleled by the other seasons of the year.  There is the sense of wonder set with the raising of Christmas lights and Christmas trees, the observations of Advent and Hanukkah and the lighting of Advent wreaths and Hanukkah Menorahs, among other things.  There is a sense of excitement of the first winter snow (which, for athletes, brings the excitement of being able to go snowboarding and skiing), the excitement of being able to sing Christmas carols, being able to see the luminarias in Old Town on Christmas Eve.  There is the joy of giving gifts to those we care about, the joy of seeing the eyes of children and foreign exchange students brighten with joy and awe of things that are new to them and the wonder of what it all means.

For those who believe in God, there is the wonder, excitement, and joy of the birth of Jesus the Christ and the expectation of Him returning to earth to usher His people into heaven.

In the midst of all of this, it's very easy to forget that there are people who, for whatever reason or reasons, are not experiencing these things, this wonder, excitement and joy.  There are people who are sick and in the hospital and do not have any family to visit them.  There are those who are new to town and do not have any family or acquaintances to spend the holiday with.  There are people who are wondering if they will be able to pay their bills, let alone pay for Christmas presents.  There are people who are homeless and wondering if they will survive the night.  For these people (and many others who are ailing in many other ways), these are not the days of wonder, excitement, and joy.  These people are vulnerable, they appear to be very strong on the outside, but are actually very frail.  If there is someone who could benefit from the wonder, excitement, and joy of Christmas, it would be someone from this group of hurting people.

It is easy to volunteer one's time at local homeless shelters, soup kitchens, visiting the elderly around the holidays (I am not bashing this by any means, doing this does help many people tremendously).  As I write this blog and as I think about this topic, I realize that volunteering at these places all throughout the year rather than just at the holidays will probably help create relationships between the visitor/volunteer and the person/organization that is being visited/helped, which then helps create the sense of wonder, excitement, and joy.  Thinking about this makes me realize that I need to do this more often than I have.  It is so easy to become so caught up in the wonder, excitement, and joy that I'm experiencing that I do not always share it with others who do not have it.  Not only should I share the wonder, excitement, and joy that God has given me with them, but I should be sharing it with them throughout the year so that they may possibly be able to share it with others.

Is it always easy to escape out of our little bubbles to share the wonder, excitement, and joy of the season and actually share it year round?  No, but it can be done.  For some, the silver lining around the moon is not always seen, but we can somehow impact the life a person with hope and joy.

As hard as it is, I really shouldn't be wallowing.

I'm sitting at a desk that has a college algebra book, two anatomy and physiology books (one for lecture and one for lab) and the corresponding notebooks and I'm just staring at these books.  I'm staring at them and wondering if I'm doing the right thing with my life by being in school.  Again.  All my life I have heard from people, whether I know them or not, that I should go to school and make something for myself, that I should find myself a good job that will help me become successful (whatever successful means).  Live in ease.

Now here I am, at the age of 26, and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.  I am at the age where I could easily have already received a Master's degree in something and already be working in that specific career area... but I haven't and I'm not.  I have been in and out of the local community college so many times as a student that it's just ridiculous.  I'm surprised they haven't told me to either stay put and do something with myself or leave and never come back.  So I decided to stay put long enough and got my Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts and I was quite proud of myself... until I figured out that a degree in Liberals Arts will do absolutely nothing for me when it comes to finding a job. 

I am now at the point of stressing out about finding a real job and whether or not I should continue this route of being in school and getting more classroom education and experience (in contrast to real life education and experience in the workforce).  I've submitted the job applications and I've submitted the resumes without very much feedback and I don't like it.  At all.

Am I wallowing?  Yes, I'm wallowing.  Though, I must admit that I have had two interviews recently, which is much better than no interview at all.  I have very easily been stuck in a negative light, focusing on me and what I'm not getting, focusing on the interviews that are not happening.  That's what's been happening rather than me focusing on God and who He is and looking on the fact that God has blessed me with the opportunities to have at least been called in to be interviewed and we'll see what happens.

Despite what God has blessed me with, I've been wallowing in self-pity like Pig-Pen from the comic strip "Peanuts".  Wallowing allows for many negative feelings and if there are any words to describe what I'm feeling, the words would be depressed and anxious.

Then earlier this week, the pastor of the church that I attend posted a bible verse on facebook.com that just stopped me in my tracks.  The verse that he posted was Philippians 4:6 and I have been thinking about it a lot over the past few days.  So here's the verse, plus the surrounding verses to give some extra context:

Philippians 4:4-9

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

After reading these verses, I realized that depressed and anxious are bound to happen in normal every day life.  Despite that fact, depressed and anxious aren't to be wallowed in and they aren't things that are true or honorable or pure or anything good, which means that I'm better of giving the depressed and anxious feelings to God.  In the end, I better be focused on God and talking with Him on a daily basis and asking Him to give me a daily reality check, because I'm not doing so well on my own.